Sex doesn’t have to include penetration or oral action to be considered “sex.” In fact, a lot of folks find that hand sex (sexual stimulation using only the hands) can be plenty satisfying and fun. Whether you’re hands are exploring a penis, a vulva or a vagina, your hands are tools that actually have more dexterity than a mouth, and can have more finesse than a vibrator or some strokers. If your interest is piqued, read on for a few tips on how best to romance your partner’s sexy spots with five hand sex basics.
Know your pleasure anatomy and how it works
One of my favorite expressions is “you don’t know what you don’t know.” This saying is especially true when it comes to penises, vulvas and vaginas. It doesn’t hurt to give yourself a little refresher by reading up on pleasure anatomy or, better yet, checking out The Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal. This video series is chock full of fantastic information about all the pleasure points on our bodies. There’s never too much to learn about our pleasure anatomy. The more you know … the better lover you can become.
Try different kinds of lube
It goes without saying that manipulating any sensitive part of the body could do with some slip to ease friction and make everything move smoothly. By using intimate lubricant on the genitals (and yes, the nipples if your partner likes them stroked) will make for a more comfortable, sensual and smooth glide. If you already use lube, try switching it up and use a stimulating lube like Sliquid Sizzle for a new sensation, or you can switch up the types of lube you use, from a aloe-based lube like Sliquid Organics Natural Gel to a silicone lube like Sliquid Silver for change of pace and texture.
Start slow before you go
You don’t want to play fast and loose when it comes to making someone come. Lead up to fondling the most sensitive part of your partner’s by exploring the surrounding areas first before you go for the gusto. Getting a sense of the kind of touch your partner is into is valuable information when you’re interested in making them climax.
Ask for directions
Communication is the most important part of sex and hand sex is no exception. When you’re ready to start romancing the most sensitive parts of your partner’s genitals, it’s courteous (and advisable) to ask your partner to let you know if they want a change in pressure or pattern. Your partner knows what feels good and if they don’t, then inviting them to let you know helps them pay more attention to their pleasure, and gives them permission to give you directions.
This might seem obvious, but really paying attention to your partner’s body movements, sounds and breathing can tell you a lot about the state of their arousal. Among other things, watching for what kind of reactions your partner has, to what kind of touch you are giving them, will let you know how to continue pleasuring them. Their reactions to your touch will tell you whether to try something else, increase or decrease pattern or pressure or to keep going or stop. If you’re not sure if what you’re doing is enjoyable, just ask. Better to check in with them than stay confused and wing it. Plus, the more you recognize the signs of arousal in your partner/s, the better you will most likely become at pleasing them.
There you go, four hand sex tips to help you and your partner get the most out of a handy “handy.” Now, whether you’re up for a carnal quickie or a lingering limerence you’ll be well-informed on how to make them swoon.