Whether you’ve always wanted to try anal or you’re just getting curious but don’t know how to start, do not fear – we’ve come up with the five most important parts of beginning booty sex for you and your lover to follow.
Anal sex isn’t a last minute idea to throw into the mix mid-sex. Talk to your partner and make certain you are both a “yes” to trying anal sex and are on the same page about how you will go about it. Slipping in a penis, dildo, finger or plug without asking if you can, is not only a violation, but it’s a sure fire way to injure your partner. So keep this in mind … without consent there’s no anal sex, period.
Anal sex shouldn’t go as fast as you may think or have seen in porn. The anus needs to get relaxed and then used to something making its way into it. Start by using your lubed up fingers and massage the outside of the anus. Always make certain your nails are short and filed smooth and wear a nitrile or latex glove for hygiene. As the anus gets more relaxed, ask your partner if they would like you to start entering the tip of your finger. If it’s a go, do it SLOWLY with no sudden movements. Pro tip: If your partner has a clit and likes it stimulated, rubbing it with your other hand as you enter their anus can make the whole experience much more enjoyable and sometimes easier. Once the tip of the finger has been entered successfully, ask your partner if they would like more of your finger. Whether the answer is yes or no, remember to go slowly, even when you’re pulling it out. As your partner gets more comfortable with the feeling, they may want to try more fingers before they graduate to a dildo or penis.
The anus does not self-lubricate like a vagina does, therefore adding lubrication with a personal lubricant is a must. Whether you choose to use a water-based lube (I recommend Sliquid Naturals Sassy or Organics Natural Gel. Gel is thicker and tends to stay where you put it), a silicone lube (like Sliquid Silver) or even a hybrid which is mostly water-based personal lubricant with a small percentage of silicone (like Sliquid Naturals Silk or Organics Silk) you will always need lube. Without lubricant there will be too much friction and not enough slip, making anal sex of any kind, painful and leaves the anus susceptible to tearing. So grab a bottle while you’re here.
Patience is a virtue, especially with anything anal. Getting an anus used to having something pushed inside it should take time – over a few days to over a few weeks. It’s all up to the receiver. You may start with one finger one night then, when your partner is comfortable with more you may want to add another finger another night and so on until your partner feels they are ready for a penis, or dildo.
Communication is crucial to pleasurable and safe anal sex. Always ask your partner before you attempt anything on them, and when you’re doing it, check-in with them often. Make certain they are comfortable, that they want you to continue and of course, that they are not in pain. When you want to stop and pull out, go slowly. Communicate what you’re doing as you do it so your partner isn’t left in the dark. Good communication means the difference between “I tried it once” and “I want to try it again”.
Those are the very basics for booty sex! Should you want more explanation and information about anal sex, I encourage you to check out these two books: The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women by Tristan Taormino and The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman