I don’t know how sex has gotten such a bad rap, but it’s a terrible thing that it has. Most of us love it! We know that it’s a healthy, happy, wonderful activity when it’s between consenting adults. So why on earth is it such a taboo subject? That’s rhetorical, of course. Religion and culture, at times, are to blame. However, that doesn’t mean we have to perpetuate the problem.
The only way to change the course of negative behavior is to nip it in the bud and to model good behavior instead. And in terms of talking to our friends about sex, it can be as easy and fun as it is informative.
There are a lot of ways to improve your sex life. Talking to your friends about sex might be one of the greatest hacks of all. Here are five reasons why talking about sex with your friends can be key to a happy, healthy sex life.
Talking about something validates it.
When we talk about our sexual experiences, it validates them as being important and worthy of doing, and therefore of talking about too. When we say out loud the things we like to do, we give those things weight. Sex is important. Talking about it reminds us of that fact.
This goes for everything from how we have sex to the accessories we employ, like lube, vibrators, and even sex furniture. Nothing is better for validation than having someone not just listen but also really hear you when it comes to what you know to be true.
Sharing info is the best way to get info.
When we share what we like to do or how we do it, the person with whom we are sharing will likely do the same. You just might be surprised at what you can learn from your friends.
When it comes to learning more about how to decorate our houses, or where to travel, or how to find the best burger, we always get the best tips when we’re sharing our own best tips. So, why is it that we rarely do that when it comes to all things sex, from positions to lube, to fulfilling fantasies? Time to change that up!
Teaching something is the best way to learn it.
Studies have shown that when we teach another person something, we reinforce our own learning. So, it only follows, that by talking to our friends about how to do one thing or another, or why doing A or B is a good idea in bed, we would become even better at doing those very same things.
If we teach our friends the importance of masturbation or the value of sex in a long-term relationship, or how to talk to one’s partner about what one wants or needs, we are likely to feel more invested in and better at those things ourselves!
Talking leads to confidence, and confidence leads to great sex.
Even as we get older – or in some instances, because we’re getting older – we can feel insecure about certain desires or about our bodies or about using a new toy or lube, or about our ability to please our partner. But talking to a trusted friend can really help to boost your confidence.
Now, you want to choose your confidante wisely of course. You want someone who will hold you up and not tear you down. But you just may be surprised at how much more confident you feel when you have someone to run things by and how much that confidence helps your performance in the bedroom.
Talking about sex is, well, sexy.
Naturally, it’s sexy to talk to your partner about sex. But it can also really get you in the mood by swapping dirty tales with a trusted friend. Think about it, you sit around chatting with your friend about how great last night was and the next thing you know, you’re all revved up thinking about how great tonight could be too.
Sex begets sex, having it, talking about it, all of it. Keeping your life sexed-up doesn’t have to mean indulging in porn marathons or deluges of sexting. (Although it can mean that too!) Sometimes, something as simple as having a spicy conversation with a friend can keep your sex life spicy too.
One way we can set sex back onto the road to redemption is by talking about it. I don’t mean tell everything to everyone. But instead of talking about unruly kids and bathroom habits, why not talk about the best lubes you’ve discovered or that new vibrator that is just out of this world?
We go to friends for support when it comes to nearly everything. It’s high time that sex became one of those things we turn to them for too. Trust your friends to keep your secrets; to boost your confidence; to help you discover new things, and even to feel better when you experience something embarrassing. Chances are they have too, which is why talking about sex with your friends can be key to a happy, healthy sex life.
As it turns out, friends are the key to a happy life…and to a happy sex life too!