Let’s be real: There is no better form of self-care than self-pleasure. Yes, I’m talking about masturbation. After all, in addition to releasing those feel-good endorphins during orgasm, masturbation has been shown to lower stress, provide relaxation, and aid with sleep. Win-win!
Whether you’re using the original sex toy (ahem, your hands) or your favorite vibrator, remember that incorporating a good lube into your “me time” sesh can reduce friction and make the whole experience more enjoyable.
This probably isn’t news to you at this point, but both your body and your vulva change throughout every stage of your reproductive health, including menopause. With that, there may be some additional changes in your sex life after menopause.
If you’ve already reached menopause (meaning you haven’t had your period in over a year), then you probably already understand where we’re going with this. While yes, it sucks to know that physically, you may experience uncomfortable symptoms such as vaginal dryness during sex after menopause, also know that it doesn’t mean the end of intimacy, at all.
There’s an unspoken “golden” rule amongst the sexually active, particularly vulva owners, to prevent urinary tract infections (UTIs) — always get up and pee after sex, no matter how tired and satiated you are. After all that grinding and thrusting, bacteria (be it your own or your partner’s) near the anus and vaginal openings can wiggle its way up through the urethra and wreak havoc on the urinary tract. Urinating can help flush it out, keeping your bits n’ pieces happy and healthy.
Even if you’re new to the wild and wonderful world of butt stuff, you’ve probably already heard that anal sex requires lube, lube, and more lube — and for good reason, too. As sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas explains, “The anus isn’t self-lubricating in the way that a vagina is, and the tissue can be delicate and easily injured if there’s too much friction.” Without anal lube, backdoor penetration of any kind — whether it be with a toy, a finger, or a penis — can be painful and even cause some mild bleeding afterward due to any tears in the sensitive anal canal tissue. Pretty sure that’s not anyone’s idea of a good time.
Looking for a quick and easy way to upgrade your sex adventures? Allow us to introduce you to the juicy world of lube. Designed to keep things slick and moving easily, no matter whether it’s being inserted inside you like a prostate massager or rubbed on top of you like a masturbator, lube greases the wheels in all the right ways.
Picture this: Lube is like butter and your body is the toast. Without it, you could still have a nice nibble, but it will likely be a bit dry. Add a generous slick of full-fat butter, and your breakfast will transform into a much tastier snack. Hungry for more? Keep scrolling for our pick of the best lubes to shop now.
Every guy should own sex lubes. A proper lubricant isn’t just for a nice handy (which, by the way, are totally underrated). If you’re heading for the backdoor, it’s the only way you’ll get in — anal sex and lube go hand in hand. But you’ll want a bottle of lube in your nightstand even if you never leave missionary island: Lube makes vanilla P-in-V sex even more fantastic — not least because your partner will appreciate your thoughtfulness and consideration.
A quick breakdown of the best lubes available: there are water-based, oil-based and silicone-based, and sometimes hybrids of two or more. Water-based lubricants can be used for vaginal and anal play (read our roundup of the best lube for anal here), but they aren’t just great for sex, either.
Throw on your bathing suits, folks, because we’re going down the slip-n-slide to find the best anal lube for you. Going into anal sex without a lubricant is like going through your day without coffee: painful and almost always unsuccessful. On a more serious note, “using lube for anal play is crucial,” Jenn Mason, founder, and owner of WinkWink, a Washington-based, women-owned sex shop, tells SELF. We spoke with experts to understand what to look for when shopping for anal lubes and why it’s beneficial for anal sex.
The anus has thin walls, doesn’t self-lubricate, and is surrounded by sphincter muscles that naturally tighten closed when touched. So for anal sex, experts suggest that you apply lots (and lots) of lube, get relaxed before penetration, start gradually with gentle stimulation (and work your way up), and communicate with your partner.
If Lizzo is right and we really are our own soulmates, it’s time to seriously re-evaluate the way we’re getting ourselves off. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, there’s really no better time to make a date night with yourself and do some, ahem, field research.
“Your sexual pleasure is a journey, not a destination,” says Toronto-based sexual health and consent educator Samantha Bitty. “What got you off in 2010 might not get you off in 2020.” Translation: try new things.