Just like everything else, sex changes as we get older. But don’t let anyone scare you. Change isn’t always a bad thing, and just because it’s different does not at all mean that it’s worse. In fact, some say that it only gets better.
that you don’t let the outside world tell you that sex goes to the wayside once
you reach a certain age. That kind of negativity can plague your brain and
affect your attitude in a way that can keep you from enjoying the best sex of
The brain is the biggest sex organ. If your brain is not on board, it makes it all the more difficult for your body to jump in and enjoy the ride. What we think forms who we are and how we act.
So turn off the noise and tune in to your desires. Sex, like wine, only improves with age. Here are seven reasons why, from self-knowledge to lube use, that getting older doesn’t mean an end – or even a decline – to your sex life.
1. You know yourself.
much of our youth we spend not knowing our bodies – how they function, what
they desire, who they want, what works for them. Hopefully, by the time we’ve
reached our 40’s and beyond, we have come to know ourselves sexually.
When we know ourselves, we are better able to experience a pleasure. No more fumbling in the dark. Instead we, and our partners, can get straight to what works for us and skip the rest.
2. You’re not afraid.
can be scary since we rarely talk about it in any real terms. When we’re young,
we tend to be afraid about what we want and need. We are scared our desires are
strange. We are scared that we have desires at all. We are scared to talk to
But once we reach a certain age, we are no longer afraid. We don’t fear our desires or talking to our partners about reaching them. Not being afraid is a very empowering thing.
3. You don’t have to prove anything.
too much of our young lives, we are way too busy trying to prove that we’re
normal, that we’re good in bed, that we know everything there is to know. We
waste a lot of time showing off and not necessarily enjoying sex. It’s as if
we’re doing it to prove a point.
As we age, we realize we have nothing to prove when it comes to sex and everything to gain if we get real with ourselves and our partners. It’s ok not to know it all. In fact, it’s good. Sometimes learning is the best part.
4. Your relationships are deeper.
Our relationships with ourselves have certainly deepened as we age, they should have anyway. And, if we have been with someone for a while, as we likely have, that relationship has deepened as well.
That’s not to say that the deeper the relationship, the better the sex. That’s not always true. But it often is true. When we are really in touch with someone, when we can truly relate, we can connect on a whole new level – that’s true both in the bedroom or out of it.
5. You know that toys and lubes are not just ok, they’re great.
There is a time in our lives when we may think if we need lube or toys that there is something wrong with us, that we are lacking in some way. That, of course, could not be any further from the truth. But it can take time to realize that.
As we get older, we learn the power of accessorizing. We may not need toys, we may not need lube, not yet anyway, but we know that there’s nothing wrong with accessing the benefits both of them can offer.
The other half is proving that negativity wrong by educating yourself and committing to your sex life just like you would commit to any of the other vital components of your life. Healthy, happy sex is your birthright. The truth is that getting older doesn’t mean an end – or even a decline – to your sex life. And if anyone tells you otherwise, it’s time to stop listening to those naysayers. The real deal is this – There’s no reason to let your age stop you. These are the glory days. Trust me.
Need gift ideas? We have seven sexy gift ideas for the holidays. The holidays are nearly upon us, which can mean only one thing – time to go shopping! Ok, hopefully it also means connecting with the people we love and enjoying family and friends and food. But it usually also means presents, and there is nothing wrong with that. Just because it’s a nice holiday, doesn’t mean your gifts can’t be naughty! There are all sorts of fun and sexy gifts out there. All you need is an open mind and a playful spirit. Here are seven sexy gifts that are sure to make your holidays merry and bright.
Sliquid Massage Cube Sampler Pack
You’ll find four different formulations in the Balance Collection Massage Oils, an enticing collection of twelve individual massage oil samples. No matter how you choose to use them, you’ll find these massage oils will help align your mind, body, and spirit. Inside you’ll find a tranquility formulation, a serenity formulation, a rejuvenation formulation, and an escape formulation. You can’t go wrong with this gift, and it’s one that you’ll both get to enjoy.
Liberty 5th Anniversary Edition
The limited edition Womanizer Liberty Anniversary Edition comes in the chicest “Pearl White” color and uses the Womanizer’s patented Pleasure Air™ Technology which employs a combo of suction and massage. It has six different intensity levels; is 100% waterproof; and is super silent. Plus, one sixty minute USB charge provides 120 minutes of pleasure. And the cover means it’s travel friendly, which means your holiday travel can be filled with pleasure too…
Womanize Premium in Blueberry
You can now get the Womanizer Premium in two new colors – Blueberry and Raspberry. The Premium’s Pleasure Air™ Technology provides touch-less stimulation through the most heavenly air pressure for the clit. It’s 100% waterproof and with its slender and ergonomic design, it fits perfectly in your palm. It can last four delicious hours and even offers an autopilot mode, alternating between 12 intensity levels. Plus, the Smart Silence™ technology, means no surprise noises, because the Premium only switches on upon skin contact.
Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator
The texture of this little vibrator is so velvety soft that just touching it may get you in the mood. The Mimi is made of flexible silicone and offers five vibration and pulsation patterns. It fits nicely in your hand and provides an awful lot of pleasure for such a little toy. Wonderful things really do come in small packages. Kick up the sensation a notch by adding a little Sliquid O Gel. This organic clit stimulating gel has a cooling effect, when applied, that warms with friction.
Silver Studio Collection – Sliquid Naturals
Let’s start from the top. This wondrous lube comes in a gorgeous glass bottle that you can keep out on your nightstand without anyone being the wiser. It’s 100% vegan friendly, hypoallergenic, and scent free. It can be safely used with latex, rubber, and plastic. Plus, it’s waterproof and non-toxic. And you don’t even have to worry about overdoing it with one pump. The metered pump allows for easy dispensing. If there is a perfect lube in a perfect container, this just might be it.
Ami 3 Step Kegel Set
This clever set is one of a kind with three progressive weights, ranging from soft weight single ball, to hard and heavy double ball. The Ami was created to enhance pelvic fitness, which readily leads to deeper and more intense orgasms, as well as a range of health benefits. The best news is, it’s self-paced and it’s one exercise program that is sure to turn you on rather than off.
This vibrator rose to fame because of a wild Amazon review. “I never came so fast and so hard in my life…I frantically tried to turn it off, but ended up hitting the buttons like a maniac, sending even stronger suction and now variant pulses from the g-spot vibrator. And came, again. I’m pretty sure I levitated. It was an unending orgasm.” As if that’s not enough to make you want to run to your Amazon account, this vibrator is also waterproof and is crafted from body-safe silicone. It has a USB charger and ten vibration patterns and intensity levels. Happy Holidays to you!
Romantic gifts are good. Practical gifts are fun. But these 7 sexy gifts that you and your partner can share – or that either or both of you can enjoy on your own – really are the best of the best. These seven sexy gifts for the holidays are sure to make your spirit merry and bright. They are cheeky and fun and remind your partner that even though the holidays can be busy and stressful, nothing is more important than being close to one another and nothing is more exciting that hitting the sheets together. And if you’re still unsure on what kind of sexy gift you should be looking for this holiday, check out the official 2019 Sliquid Holiday Gift Guide.
Being a rock star in the bedroom relies on learning more about women and their bodies.
I don’t know where the myth started that men (or women for that matter) are just supposed to know what women want in bed and how to make that happen. It’s as if they’re supposed to be born with magical powers. Well, I’ve got news for you. Ain’t no such thing. And not only is there no crime in educating yourself via books and reliable online information, there is also no crime in asking your partner what she digs. The vagina, vulva, and clitoris have been shrouded in mystery too long.
When you know the biology the fumbling is minimized.
There’s nothing sexy about fumbling around. At all. We get it. You’re nervous. You want to do it “right.” You want to impress us. Here’s the thing. We’re nervous too. There’s no “right” way to do any of it. And we’re way more interested in being satisfied than being impressed. Fumbling around is no fun for anyone. And sex should be fun! Better to arm yourself with information and go in knowing everything you can. You wouldn’t go skiing or show up in a foreign country without doing your research, right?
Caring enough to research is sexy as hell.
Knowing that the person you’re sleeping with bothered to find out how it all works is hot. Really hot. That level of caring in that department is a good indication – hopefully – about their level of caring in other relationship departments. Not to mention that it’s crazy sexy to be thinking about what your partner is reading about and looking at when you’re not around, including what sexy supplies they might be stocking up on. Although maybe best not to think about that at work or your next family reunion…
Asking a woman questions is hot.
Asking questions of the woman you’re sleeping with doesn’t have to be – and shouldn’t be – an interrogation. Think of it as part of the fun. Tell her the truth, you want to learn more and be the best you can for her. Ask her where she likes to be touched and what spots don’t work for her. Ask her to show you what turns her on. Watching your partner masturbate, for example, can help you learn a lot about her preferences when it comes to location, speed, pressure, and the like. The question game can be a whole lot of fun if you’re both willing to play!
It will increase your confidence in bed
There really is nothing sexier in bed than confidence. When you know the parts and what to do with them, you are far more likely to be confident going into the game. Then, your partner will see your confidence and that will increase her desire for you as well. It’s a win-win-win. It’s tough to be confident when your head is full of questions before, during, and even after. But if you learn the ropes ahead of time, you’ll be ready to swing into action effortlessly when the time comes.
The sex will be better. Period.
Let’s face it. No matter what we’re talking about, the more you know about the activity at hand and all of the equipment involved, the better that activity is likely to go. When you learn about how the female sexual parts work in general, let alone on your partner in particular, you are opening not just a window, but massive French doors to, as Aladdin would say, a whole new world! I’m sure there are some exceptions out there. But barring the outliers, I feel confident saying that the best sex you’ll ever have is educated sex.
Once you start researching, you never know what else you might learn.
While you’re digging around learning all about the magical clitoris and the mysterious – but very real – G-Spot, you are likely to stumble upon a plethora of information to which you had not previously been privy. Positions. Accessories. Erotica. You name it. This is one rabbit hole you won’t mind falling into. Just be sure you have plenty of privacy while you’re researching. And if you share your computer with minors, that you erase your search history. Words to the wise…
The research itself is a turn-on.
You would be hard pressed – no pun intended – not to get turned on just from doing the research. Whether it’s books, videos, articles online, whatever, you are bound to get inspired from all of that knowledge. You can use that as motivation to get that evening’s – or morning’s or afternoon’s – activities in motion. Think about doing the research when it won’t be long until you can put what you learned into practice. Or, do it when there’s a delay and let the anticipation do its magic when it comes to go time!
So get your learning on. Don’t do it at work. That could go badly. Very badly. But start finding out more about the intricacies about the female body and you’ll be amazed at how much you will be adored. There’s just no doubt about it – being a rock star in the bedroom is all about learning more about women and their bodies. Did you know the clitoris has 7000 plus nerve endings and its only role in life in to give women pleasure? Did you know that the word vagina only refers to the inner canal and that everything you see from the outside is the vulva? Did you know that 99% of women don’t orgasm from penetration alone? You know what they say – The more you know! It’s the most fun you’ll ever have studying. Trust me.
There is nothing wrong with looking for a bit of inspiration when it comes to sex. Traditionally, men have turned to porn to get inspired; however there are other solutions. For instance, literary erotica allows readers to find inspiration by inserting themselves into the stories. There are so many options when it comes to literary erotica, stories that run the gamut from cowboys to vampires to everything in between. No matter what revs your engine, you can always find it on the written page. For something really classic, check out Anne Rice’s “Sleeping Beauty Trilogy” or Anais Nin’s “Delta of Venus” or “Little Birds.” For something new that offers a little bit of everything, try an anthology series like “Best Women’s Erotica of the Year” or “The Big Book of Orgasms.”
Still not convinced the written word can do as much for your sex drive as the moving picture?
1. Erotica trumps porn because the brain is queen.
“The brain is the most complex organ in the human body, so it makes sense that erotica engages the mind differently than watching traditional pornography. A lot of porn is a hard-carnal sell, skewed more toward overt sexuality and racing to the almighty ‘money shot,’ rather than teasing nuanced sensuality,” explains Pfeuffer. Filling your head with positive inspiration is key.
2. Erotica trumps porn because porn can be all about the boys.
Pfeuffer explains, “Given that 2017 data from PornHub revealed its audience is 75 percent men and 25 percent women, it’s probably safe to assume that most porn is written with the male gaze in mind. There are filmmakers who defy these stereotypes: Erika Lust, Bree Mills, and Lucie Blush are all badass feminists, who produce porn with thoughtful plots and storylines.” If you want to play in the porn playground, be as picky as you please about what you watch.
3. Erotica trumps porn because most women don’t look like that.
“Erotica appeals to a different aesthetic, one where the imagination can run wild without a concrete visual or cadence. Most women don’t look like porn stars, so it’s hard for us to relate, and a lot of women end up making unrealistic comparisons,” says Pfeuffer. It can be hard to feel sexy when comparing yourself to appearance and behaviors that simply don’t exist in your world. To feel even sexier, try adding a clit simulating gel to your sex play.
4. Erotica trumps porn because some porn can be unrealistic.
Porn sex is not real sex. Period. “Real sex doesn’t always look like what we see on the screen. Not all women squirt, like anal without lube, or cum without foreplay,” explains Pfeuffer. “Porn would have you believe otherwise. I’m guessing for most of us, our mental imagery of what pleasure looks like is very different than what men imagine. Erotica allows us to mold that mental imagery.”
5. Erotica trumps porn because erotica is perfect solo or in pairs.
“Readers can read out loud to a lover or get lost in a story on their own,” Bussel says, which makes erotica as fun to share as it is to use alone. Make erotica part of your foreplay and you can be sure that your play will be better than ever. While you’re at it, why not add something to spice things up like a little massage oil…
6. Erotica trumps porn because you can make erotica your own.
Erotica gives readers the chance to fill in the blanks. “Reading erotica lets people use their imagination, inserting themselves into a story and getting lost in the plot and the sexual acts in different ways than watching porn. Even with detailed descriptions, there’s still room to make the story your own in your mind and to embellish the visual in your mind, and perhaps be a more active participant than when viewing video porn, although I don’t think the two are at odds,” Bussel says.
7. Erotica trumps porn because it offers something new.
Erotica can be very inspiring. As Bussel explains, “For many, reading erotica can give them new ideas of things they might want to try or simply let their sexual fantasies have free reign in their mind, which isn’t always easy in a world that polices sexuality, especially women’s sexuality.”And in the name of trying new things, if you don’t use lubricant as part of your regular play, why not give it a whirl? And, if you do, why not try a new kind to up your lube ante?
8. Erotica trumps porn because erotica has staying power.
Porn imagery bombards the brain. But, “Written erotica can also stay in the reader’s mind long after they’ve finished it; I still recall some of the first erotica I read over 20 years ago,” Bussel says. Staying power means you can play the scenes over and over in your head whenever you choose. No technology required. Another way to up your staying power is to try incorporating a performance product into the bedroom, such as a delay spray, to make the fun last longer.
Porn definitely has its place. It’s been around a long time and it’s certainly not going anywhere, however, it does have its limits. For instance, porn must be watched on some type of electronic device. The amazing thing about erotica is that you don’t need anything but the words and your imagination to immerse yourself in pleasure. As mentioned before, nearly all of it is filmed from the male perspective, and 99% of it is painfully fake in its depiction on intimacy. With erotica, there is a story for every taste, in every genre, from mild to wild. So, why not give it a try? A whole new literary world of sexy awaits you!
We are not sure when masturbation got such a bad rap but we do know it’s a shame. Masturbation is so incredibly good for us – body, mind, and spirit. It’s great for our sex lives, our relationships, our health, even our work! It’s time that we come to see masturbation as a vital component of self-care. Masturbating alone is paramount, however it can also increase intimacy between you and your sexual partner.
Here are ten reasons why solo and/or coupled masturbation is essential.
It teaches us how our bodies work.
Everyone should know how their body works. There should not be a single part of our bodies that are outside of our understanding. The only way to truly understand something is to engage with it as often as possible. And adding a lube like Sliquid Spark that enhances orgasm can make it possible to keep the fun pleasure coming. Masturbation allows us to learn how our bodies do and do not work.
It connects us to our bodies.
So much in life disconnects us from the very bodies we live in. We cover them up and keep them under wraps, we can go days, weeks, months without even seeing them, let alone touching them. We live in these bodies so we need to live in them. There is virtually no way not to connect when we masturbate, and starting the fun with a hot bath or other relaxing activity can add to the pleasure. Masturbating together then connects us to our partner’s body as we see how they relate to, love, and care for themselves masturbation is essential whether you’re coupled or single.
It is vital in the realm of self-care.
Taking care of ourselves means giving our bodies what they want and need. Our bodies want and need touch. Our own touch. If we are going to take care of other people, we have to first take care of ourselves. When we masturbate, we minister to our bodies and minds, allowing us to be our best. Part of being our best is always being open to learning, including reading books like “The Ultimate Guide To Solo Sex” about the whys and how tos of self-love.
It’s great for our health.
Masturbation is healthy. Don’t let anyone tell you
otherwise. It’s good for our brains, our hearts, our skin, and our circulation.
For too long we were sold a false bill of goods. Religion and other groups have
wanted to keep people separated from their bodies and sexual pleasure by
telling us that masturbation is wrong, sinful, or dangerous. It’s simply not
true. The real truth is that masturbation
is essential whether you’re coupled or single.
It allows us to be the best possible sexual partners
really tough to know what will work for us in bed if we don’t know what truly
gives us pleasure. Masturbation allows us to figure out, on our own time, what
feels good to us and what we could do without. And when we masturbate together,
we can literally show one another what works best when it comes to making us
It allows us to be our best selves
Think about it, after you masturbate, you feel great! Climaxing can ignite feelings of happiness. Your skin is glowing. You’re focused, calm, and feel like you can take on the world. When we take time for ourselves to “get in the zone”, we can then be our best at work, at home, and at play.
It reminds us of our power
We can do anything, conquer anything, and be anything. We have the power to bring ourselves pleasure, to share pleasure with others, and to stand up for pleasure. When we masturbate, we feel the most powerful, and there is no reason to not be as much in our power as possible. Masturbating as a couple can have that effect as well, allowing us to see just how incredible we are together.
It reminds us of how amazing we are
Our bodies enjoy erotic pleasure, we are capable of giving ourselves that pleasure all on our own. We are so lucky to have these bodies that can do so much for us. Masturbation helps us to see that again and again. You can even celebrate that amazingness by gifting yourselves with some pleasure giving goodies, such as O-Gel, an organic vasodilator that helps stimulate the clitoris. It’s vital that we never forget how lucky we are to have these bodies and that masturbation is essential whether you’re coupled or single.
It reminds us not to be ashamed of our bodies
There is nothing wrong with the human body. Nothing. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to the human body. Sex and orgasm are functions of our bodies. When we masturbate and it feels good and lightening doesn’t strike us – which it won’t, I promise – it helps us to remember to shun the shame. Keep in mind that there’s also no shame in adding toys, such as The Womanizer to solo or coupled play.
It allows us to remember that our sexuality is our right and our privilege
able to enjoy pleasure is both a human privilege and a right. It is up to us to
honor that. We are so lucky to have bodies that can do what they do and no one
has a right to take that away from us. We can honor that right by exercising it
There are plenty of things in the world that people disagree on. But when it comes to masturbation, the facts are clear. Masturbation is essential whether you’re coupled or single. Take the time to take care of yourself, your partner, and learn together by masturbating together. There are no better investments you can make then investing in yourself and in your connection to the person you love. Shut out the noise and listen to your body. It will tell you. It needs pleasure and it needs to connect. Masturbation is the key to both.
There are so many ways to take sex to the next level, whether it’s a new position, a new location, or finding an entirely new way to play. You can also shake things up by adding a variety of lubes and vibes and other toys to the party. Here are a few items you’ll want to stock up on to not only keep the fires going, but also to set them ablaze like they’ve never been before. Don’t forget, toys and lube are not about “needing” them to make sex “work,” they are about wanting them to make sex the best ride of your life. These eight naughty necessities for every nightstand are the perfect edition to any bedroom.
1. For sweetening things up
The Sliquid Lip Lickers Lube Cube is like a grown-up candy store in a tidy little box. Three handy little packets each of Sliquid Swirl Cherry Vanilla, Apple, Blue Raspberry, and Strawberry Pomegranate means all sorts of delicious fun in the most delightfully slippery way possible.
6. For getting your buzz on
There is nothing wrong with adding a little buzz to the bedroom. It doesn’t mean that anyone is broken or that anyone doesn’t know what they’re doing. All it means is that everyone involved wants to enjoy great sex, and vibrator is a great way to have great sex. One the best out there these days are from Womanizer, including their Duo. It creates the ideal blend of clitoral and G-spot stimulation, which means the blended orgasm of the century is right there at your fingertips.
2. For lighting up – and lubing up – your play
This super cool, super discreet five ounce bottle, aptly called the Lube Light Dispenser, has textured sides for easy grip and a light switch right in the cap. Just unscrew the cap and pour in your fave lube. Use the light as your guide to get just the right amount of lube in just the right place.
Reader be warned – don’t start reading unless you have the time and space to get the job done…
3. For making the O even more O-mazing
O Gel is the lube that makes the big O even, well, bigger. It’s 100% vegan, and 95% organic, with Peppermint Oil and Menthol topping its list of star ingredients. You just might be surprised at its ability to arouse and stimulate the clit. What you won’t be surprised about is how happy that big O is going to make you.
7. For a little inspiration
This is one of my personal favorites when it comes to naughty necessities – erotica. When it comes to words that will light your fire, there is something out there for every taste from the classics like Anais Nin and Anne Rice (Yes! That Anne Rice!) to modern collections from erotica pros like Rachel Kramer Bussel who curates collections for every taste. Reader be warned – don’t start reading unless you have the time and space to get the job done…
4. For lasting longer
Naughty necessity number four is called Ride BodyWorx Rock. They call it the desensitizer. You’ll call it the ticket to lasting all night. And your partner will call it rock star status in a bottle. The secret ingredient is fast acting benzocaine. All you need is a few sprays and you can bet you’ll last longer than you ever imagined possible.
8. For spicing things up
One of the best things about sex is that you don’t necessarily need anything other than your own body to have it. One of the other best things is that there are tons of fun ways to up the ante. Think accessorizing! Fill your nightstand with things like a blindfold, a whip, a candle that melts into massage oil, handcuffs, some soft rope, anything that fuels your fantasies and tickles your partner’s imagination.
5. For keeping things discreet
Ever wish your lube was more accessible but you didn’t have to worry about your mom dropping by and gasping when she sees it out on your nightstand? The Sliquid Silver Studio Collection has got you covered. The beautiful glass bottle won’t make anyone suspect a thing – other than that you have great taste. Inside is pharmaceutical grade silicone personal lubricant, Sliquid’s Premium formulation. Great lube + great looks equals great sex every time!
Think of your nightstand as your own personal toy box, a place for all of your naughty necessities. Fill it with all things pleasure focused. No one but you and the person (or people) with whom you play get to dictate or judge what goes inside. So have fun, live a little, get slippery, and take your sex life to the kind of heights that you never dared imagine possible!
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