Lube is to anal sex what communication is to a healthy relationship: vital. Without lubrication, anal sex isn’t just less pleasurable, but often painful — and anal shouldn’t painful, says Jordan Soper, PsyD, an AASECT-certified sex therapist. But with lube and a little patience, anal play can be downright orgasmic.

When choosing the best anal lube, the slicker, the better. ‘Silicone-based lubricants are considered top-tier for anal play because they stay on for longer periods of time compared to water-based lubricants, which are more easily absorbed into the body,’ Soper explains. That said, if you’re adding silicone toys into the mix, avoid silicone-based lube—it can cause deterioration, which can both ruin your toys and create a perfect environment for bacteria to grow.

Read more on Women’s Health.