Just like everything else, sex changes as we get older. But don’t let anyone scare you. Change isn’t always a bad thing, and just because it’s different does not at all mean that it’s worse. In fact, some say that it only gets better.
It’s important that you don’t let the outside world tell you that sex goes to the wayside once you reach a certain age. That kind of negativity can plague your brain and affect your attitude in a way that can keep you from enjoying the best sex of your life.
The brain is the biggest sex organ. If your brain is not on board, it makes it all the more difficult for your body to jump in and enjoy the ride. What we think forms who we are and how we act.
So turn off the noise and tune in to your desires. Sex, like wine, only improves with age. Here are seven reasons why, from self-knowledge to lube use, that getting older doesn’t mean an end – or even a decline – to your sex life.
1. You know yourself.
So much of our youth we spend not knowing our bodies – how they function, what they desire, who they want, what works for them. Hopefully, by the time we’ve reached our 40’s and beyond, we have come to know ourselves sexually.
When we know ourselves, we are better able to experience a pleasure. No more fumbling in the dark. Instead we, and our partners, can get straight to what works for us and skip the rest.
2. You’re not afraid.
Sex can be scary since we rarely talk about it in any real terms. When we’re young, we tend to be afraid about what we want and need. We are scared our desires are strange. We are scared that we have desires at all. We are scared to talk to our partners.
But once we reach a certain age, we are no longer afraid. We don’t fear our desires or talking to our partners about reaching them. Not being afraid is a very empowering thing.
3. You don’t have to prove anything.
For too much of our young lives, we are way too busy trying to prove that we’re normal, that we’re good in bed, that we know everything there is to know. We waste a lot of time showing off and not necessarily enjoying sex. It’s as if we’re doing it to prove a point.
As we age, we realize we have nothing to prove when it comes to sex and everything to gain if we get real with ourselves and our partners. It’s ok not to know it all. In fact, it’s good. Sometimes learning is the best part.
4. Your relationships are deeper.
Our relationships with ourselves have certainly deepened as we age, they should have anyway. And, if we have been with someone for a while, as we likely have, that relationship has deepened as well.
That’s not to say that the deeper the relationship, the better the sex. That’s not always true. But it often is true. When we are really in touch with someone, when we can truly relate, we can connect on a whole new level – that’s true both in the bedroom or out of it.
There is a time in our lives when we may think if we need lube or toys that there is something wrong with us, that we are lacking in some way. That, of course, could not be any further from the truth. But it can take time to realize that.
As we get older, we learn the power of accessorizing. We may not need toys, we may not need lube, not yet anyway, but we know that there’s nothing wrong with accessing the benefits both of them can offer.
It can be easy to simply accept the all too common misnomer that the older you get, the less you can and will enjoy sex. The truth is, half the battle is replacing that negative attitude with a positive one.
The other half is proving that negativity wrong by educating yourself and committing to your sex life just like you would commit to any of the other vital components of your life. Healthy, happy sex is your birthright. The truth is that getting older doesn’t mean an end – or even a decline – to your sex life. And if anyone tells you otherwise, it’s time to stop listening to those naysayers. The real deal is this – There’s no reason to let your age stop you. These are the glory days. Trust me.