Although once considered something only menopausal people used for vaginal dryness, lubricants are great for everyone (and every sexual need), be it the best lube for sensitive skin or a water-based formula to use with silicone sex toys. It doesn’t matter if you’re 25 and having vaginal sex or 61 and having oral and anal sex, lube is that friend that everyone needs for an extra good time.
But as much as lube can make penetrative sex (as well as masturbation!) better, not every formula is as skin-friendly. Like the best sex toys, you want to make sure that the lube is body-safe. In this case, that means formulas that are void of any chemicals or harsh irritants that can disrupt your vagina’s pH balance, or cause bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections.
There’s an unspoken “golden” rule amongst the sexually active, particularly vulva owners, to prevent urinary tract infections (UTIs) — always get up and pee after sex, no matter how tired and satiated you are. After all that grinding and thrusting, bacteria (be it your own or your partner’s) near the anus and vaginal openings can wiggle its way up through the urethra and wreak havoc on the urinary tract. Urinating can help flush it out, keeping your bits n’ pieces happy and healthy.
Using personal lubricants (lubes, for short) can enhance sexual pleasure. Also makes for a better experience by reducing friction and dryness during sex. But not all lubes are equal, especially if someone has sensitive skin.
“Some ingredients in lubricants can cause irritation to skin and mucous membranes,” explains Christie Cobb, MD, FACOG, a board-certified gynecologist and sexual wellness expert in Little Rock, Arkansas. “Irritation from lubricants can cause symptoms such as vaginal infections, burning, itching and rashes.”
Even if you’re new to the wild and wonderful world of butt stuff, you’ve probably already heard that anal sex requires lube, lube, and more lube — and for good reason, too. As sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas explains, “The anus isn’t self-lubricating in the way that a vagina is, and the tissue can be delicate and easily injured if there’s too much friction.” Without anal lube, backdoor penetration of any kind — whether it be with a toy, a finger, or a penis — can be painful and even cause some mild bleeding afterward due to any tears in the sensitive anal canal tissue. Pretty sure that’s not anyone’s idea of a good time.
Sure, a little saliva can get the job done, but when you’re in the mood, the best lubes make everything better — and wetter. The only hitch? Amid a sea of seemingly endless options (it’s the Golden Age of Lube, after all), finding the right one can take even more research than securing the best vibrator. In the interest of keeping your search as frictionless as possible, we compiled everything you need to know about personal lubricant and pulled together a few tried-and-true options that work every time.
Say it with me: Vaginas are sensitive. And just like you might regularly pore over the ingredients in new serums before adding them to your skincare routine, you should pay extra-close attention to what’s in your lube — especially if you’re prone to vaginal dryness, pain, or irritation during or after sex.
A quick breakdown of the best lubes available: there are water-based, oil-based and silicone-based, and sometimes hybrids of two or more. Water-based lubricants can be used for vaginal and anal play (read our roundup of the best lube for anal here), but they aren’t just great for sex, either.
Throw on your bathing suits, folks, because we’re going down the slip-n-slide to find the best anal lube for you. Going into anal sex without a lubricant is like going through your day without coffee: painful and almost always unsuccessful. On a more serious note, “using lube for anal play is crucial,” Jenn Mason, founder, and owner of WinkWink, a Washington-based, women-owned sex shop, tells SELF. We spoke with experts to understand what to look for when shopping for anal lubes and why it’s beneficial for anal sex.
The anus has thin walls, doesn’t self-lubricate, and is surrounded by sphincter muscles that naturally tighten closed when touched. So for anal sex, experts suggest that you apply lots (and lots) of lube, get relaxed before penetration, start gradually with gentle stimulation (and work your way up), and communicate with your partner.
