This probably isn’t news to you at this point, but both your body and your vulva change throughout every stage of your reproductive health, including menopause. With that, there may be some additional changes in your sex life after menopause.
If you’ve already reached menopause (meaning you haven’t had your period in over a year), then you probably already understand where we’re going with this. While yes, it sucks to know that physically, you may experience uncomfortable symptoms such as vaginal dryness during sex after menopause, also know that it doesn’t mean the end of intimacy, at all.
My mother masturbates. She’ll smack me on the shoulder when she sees this, but I’ll say the same thing to her then as I say to you now: It’s the truth. My family is Mexican and Catholic, and growing up, we just didn’t talk about sex—but lately, that’s changed. But, even though I know my 58-year-old mom sometimes experiences vaginal dryness amid menopause, I was worried about what she’d say when I asked her to test and pick the best lube for vaginal dryness. To my surprise, she was 100 percent down.
Although once considered something only menopausal people used for vaginal dryness, lubricants are great for everyone (and every sexual need), be it the best lube for sensitive skin or a water-based formula to use with silicone sex toys. It doesn’t matter if you’re 25 and having vaginal sex or 61 and having oral and anal sex, lube is that friend that everyone needs for an extra good time.
But as much as lube can make penetrative sex (as well as masturbation!) better, not every formula is as skin-friendly. Like the best sex toys, you want to make sure that the lube is body-safe. In this case, that means formulas that are void of any chemicals or harsh irritants that can disrupt your vagina’s pH balance, or cause bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections.
There’s an unspoken “golden” rule amongst the sexually active, particularly vulva owners, to prevent urinary tract infections (UTIs) — always get up and pee after sex, no matter how tired and satiated you are. After all that grinding and thrusting, bacteria (be it your own or your partner’s) near the anus and vaginal openings can wiggle its way up through the urethra and wreak havoc on the urinary tract. Urinating can help flush it out, keeping your bits n’ pieces happy and healthy.
Using personal lubricants (lubes, for short) can enhance sexual pleasure. Also makes for a better experience by reducing friction and dryness during sex. But not all lubes are equal, especially if someone has sensitive skin.
“Some ingredients in lubricants can cause irritation to skin and mucous membranes,” explains Christie Cobb, MD, FACOG, a board-certified gynecologist and sexual wellness expert in Little Rock, Arkansas. “Irritation from lubricants can cause symptoms such as vaginal infections, burning, itching and rashes.”
Even if you’re new to the wild and wonderful world of butt stuff, you’ve probably already heard that anal sex requires lube, lube, and more lube — and for good reason, too. As sex and pleasure educator Luna Matatas explains, “The anus isn’t self-lubricating in the way that a vagina is, and the tissue can be delicate and easily injured if there’s too much friction.” Without anal lube, backdoor penetration of any kind — whether it be with a toy, a finger, or a penis — can be painful and even cause some mild bleeding afterward due to any tears in the sensitive anal canal tissue. Pretty sure that’s not anyone’s idea of a good time.
Sure, a little saliva can get the job done, but when you’re in the mood, the best lubes make everything better — and wetter. The only hitch? Amid a sea of seemingly endless options (it’s the Golden Age of Lube, after all), finding the right one can take even more research than securing the best vibrator. In the interest of keeping your search as frictionless as possible, we compiled everything you need to know about personal lubricant and pulled together a few tried-and-true options that work every time.
Giving oral sex through a safer-sex barrier. If you’re using a condom or a dental dam while going down on someone, you could just deal with the taste of latex (or polyisoprene or polyurethane, as the case may be). Let’s be real: It’s probably not your favorite flavor. Might as well jazz it up with lube that tastes like strawberries, coconuts, or birthday cake.
Say it with me: Vaginas are sensitive. And just like you might regularly pore over the ingredients in new serums before adding them to your skincare routine, you should pay extra-close attention to what’s in your lube — especially if you’re prone to vaginal dryness, pain, or irritation during or after sex.
