The orgasm, or “Big O,” has been enhancing the lives of people for as long as humanity has existed. Not everyone is able to have them or has experienced one. In fact, researchers suggest that 25% of women have a hard time reaching an orgasm. That is 1 in 4 women who have yet to experience one of the many joys of life. While this is unfortunate, no worries, sometimes it’s more about the journey rather than the destination.
What is an orgasm?
You know that moment during sex when it feels like your soul left your body? Yes, that’s the climax. Have you ever stopped to think about what is actually happening in your body, and why it feels so good?
An orgasm is when your body physically responds to reaching the peak of sexual arousal.
During an orgasm, your body releases chemicals like oxytocin, which is a naturally occurring chemical in your body that will cause you to feel relaxed and happy. In other words, keep going long enough, and you might mentally end up on another planet for a brief, euphoric moment.
Four Stages of an Orgasm (The sexual Response Cycle)
Did you know that there are levels to an orgasm? These stages are called The Sexual Response Cycle and they include excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Learning and understanding these stages can help to increase pleasure with yourself or your partner(s).
- Muscle tension increases.
- Heart rate quickens and breathing is accelerated.
- Skin may become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back).
- Nipples become hardened or erect.
- Blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the woman’s clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the man’s penis.
- Vaginal lubrication begins, is possible.
- The woman’s breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell.
- The man’s testicles swell, their scrotum tightens, and they begin secreting a lubricating liquid.
- The changes begun in phase 1 are intensified.
- The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple.
- The woman’s clitoris becomes highly sensitive (may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis.
- The man’s testicles tighten.
- Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to increase.
- Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands.
- Muscle tension increases.
The orgasm is the climax of the sexual response cycle. It is the shortest of the phases and generally lasts only a few seconds. General characteristics of this phase include the following:
- Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
- Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates, with a rapid intake of oxygen.
- Muscles in the feet spasm.
- There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
- In women, the muscles of the vagina contract. The uterus also undergoes rhythmic contractions.
- In men, rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of the penis result in the ejaculation of semen.
- A rash, or “sex flush” may appear over the entire body.
Phase 4: Resolution
During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning. You may feel satisfied, euphoric, and oftentimes fatigued. Some people may be ready for round 2, and some may not. Some vulva owners are capable of quickly getting back to the orgasm and may experience multiple orgasms. Penis owners, however, need recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period. The amount of times a person can reach orgasm varies from person to person.
Types of orgasms
It’s important to note that orgasms aren’t achieved just through penetrative sex or oral sex. There are many different types of orgasms, and different body parts have the ability to give you different orgasmic sensations. We are going to talk about six of the main types.
- Clitoral – It Involves the clitoris becoming erect, and the orgasm itself provides a release. You can feel these orgasms on the surface of the body, like a tingly feeling along your skin.
- Vaginal- It happens inside the vagina and is usually accompanied by pulsations of the vaginal canal walls.
- Anal- These are muscle contractions in the anal canal and around the anal sphincter. (And not inside the vagina).
- Combo or Blended- When the vagina and the clitoris are stimulated at the same time, it results in full-body trembles and tremors.
- Erogenous- Stimulating lesser-known erogenous parts of the body (ears, nipples, neck, elbows, knees, etc.) This can cause a pleasurable release when kissed and stimulated. Some people describe the orgasm that follows as a full-body sensation.
- Convulsing- This happens when the pelvic floor muscles convulse over and over and over again, really quickly, after a long buildup.
Tips to reaching an orgasm
Yes, there are multiple ways to experience an orgasmic sensation but not all of them are as easily achieved. Here are tips and tricks for ways to explore your body solo, or with a partner(s), so that you can reach the ultimate climax.
The clit, or clitoris, is a nerve-rich, spongy tissue covered by a hood that becomes erect when you are aroused. The best way to turn on the clit and get her started is to gently rub the clit with the fingers, palm, or tongue in back and forth, or circular motions. Then gradually increase the pressure, and the pleasure will intensify resulting in an orgasmic sensation.
Vaginal orgasms involve the “G-Spot.” The “G- Spot is a group of nerve endings that are located about two inches inside the vaginal wall. When this spot is stimulated it is sure to make your partner or yourself feel all the feels. Insert a finger, penis, or toy into your vagina and angle it upwards, then move it back and forth. You can try different motions or pressures until you find what feels the best.
Anal Orgasms stimulate the clitoral legs which are the internal part of the clitoris that you cannot see. It can also stimulate the G-Spot as well. Since the anus doesn’t naturally produce lubricant on its own, this is where you’ll need Sliquid Sassy. Sassy is a long-lasting water-based lube, and it is great for butt play. With a generous amount of Sassy, gently rub around the anus to prepare it for penetration. Once you’re inside, start exploring! You can tap, make circular motions, wiggle around, whatever feels the best to you.
Combo orgasms & Erogenous orgasms
Combo orgasms can be achieved by stimulating the clit and the vagina at the same time in the ways we mentioned above. Doing this will result in an explosive sensation. *See clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms.
Erogenous orgasms can be achieved by experimenting with different sensitive spots on your body. Using a feather, rub it across your body and take note of where you feel the most pleasure. These orgasms will take a lot of exploring, but with fingers, mouths, and toys, you can achieve orgasms in many different places.
The body is magical and has the ability to reach great heights. There are so many ways to experience intimacy and pleasure. Explore your body, get in tune with yourself, and get that orgasm you deserve!