We are not sure when masturbation got such a bad rap but we do know it’s a shame. Masturbation is so incredibly good for us – body, mind, and spirit. It’s great for our sex lives, our relationships, our health, even our work! It’s time that we come to see masturbation as a vital component of self-care. Masturbating alone is paramount, however it can also increase intimacy between you and your sexual partner.
Here are ten reasons why solo and/or coupled masturbation is essential.
It teaches us how our bodies work.
Everyone should know how their body works. There should not be a single part of our bodies that are outside of our understanding. The only way to truly understand something is to engage with it as often as possible. And adding a lube like Sliquid Spark that enhances orgasm can make it possible to keep the fun pleasure coming. Masturbation allows us to learn how our bodies do and do not work.
It connects us to our bodies.
So much in life disconnects us from the very bodies we live in. We cover them up and keep them under wraps, we can go days, weeks, months without even seeing them, let alone touching them. We live in these bodies so we need to live in them. There is virtually no way not to connect when we masturbate, and starting the fun with a hot bath or other relaxing activity can add to the pleasure. Masturbating together then connects us to our partner’s body as we see how they relate to, love, and care for themselves masturbation is essential whether you’re coupled or single.
It is vital in the realm of self-care.
Taking care of ourselves means giving our bodies what they want and need. Our bodies want and need touch. Our own touch. If we are going to take care of other people, we have to first take care of ourselves. When we masturbate, we minister to our bodies and minds, allowing us to be our best. Part of being our best is always being open to learning, including reading books like “The Ultimate Guide To Solo Sex” about the whys and how tos of self-love.
It’s great for our health.
Masturbation is healthy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s good for our brains, our hearts, our skin, and our circulation. For too long we were sold a false bill of goods. Religion and other groups have wanted to keep people separated from their bodies and sexual pleasure by telling us that masturbation is wrong, sinful, or dangerous. It’s simply not true. The real truth is that masturbation is essential whether you’re coupled or single.
It allows us to be the best possible sexual partners
It’s really tough to know what will work for us in bed if we don’t know what truly gives us pleasure. Masturbation allows us to figure out, on our own time, what feels good to us and what we could do without. And when we masturbate together, we can literally show one another what works best when it comes to making us come.
It allows us to be our best selves
Think about it, after you masturbate, you feel great! Climaxing can ignite feelings of happiness. Your skin is glowing. You’re focused, calm, and feel like you can take on the world. When we take time for ourselves to “get in the zone”, we can then be our best at work, at home, and at play.
It reminds us of our power
We can do anything, conquer anything, and be anything. We have the power to bring ourselves pleasure, to share pleasure with others, and to stand up for pleasure. When we masturbate, we feel the most powerful, and there is no reason to not be as much in our power as possible. Masturbating as a couple can have that effect as well, allowing us to see just how incredible we are together.
It reminds us of how amazing we are
Our bodies enjoy erotic pleasure, we are capable of giving ourselves that pleasure all on our own. We are so lucky to have these bodies that can do so much for us. Masturbation helps us to see that again and again. You can even celebrate that amazingness by gifting yourselves with some pleasure giving goodies, such as O-Gel, an organic vasodilator that helps stimulate the clitoris. It’s vital that we never forget how lucky we are to have these bodies and that masturbation is essential whether you’re coupled or single.
It reminds us not to be ashamed of our bodies
There is nothing wrong with the human body. Nothing. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to the human body. Sex and orgasm are functions of our bodies. When we masturbate and it feels good and lightening doesn’t strike us – which it won’t, I promise – it helps us to remember to shun the shame. Keep in mind that there’s also no shame in adding toys, such as The Womanizer to solo or coupled play.
It allows us to remember that our sexuality is our right and our privilege
Being able to enjoy pleasure is both a human privilege and a right. It is up to us to honor that. We are so lucky to have bodies that can do what they do and no one has a right to take that away from us. We can honor that right by exercising it through masturbation.
There are plenty of things in the world that people disagree on. But when it comes to masturbation, the facts are clear. Masturbation is essential whether you’re coupled or single. Take the time to take care of yourself, your partner, and learn together by masturbating together. There are no better investments you can make then investing in yourself and in your connection to the person you love. Shut out the noise and listen to your body. It will tell you. It needs pleasure and it needs to connect. Masturbation is the key to both.
Jenny Block is a frequent contributor to a number of high-profile publications from Huffington Post to Playboy, and is the author of “Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage” (2008 Lambda Literary Award).
2 thoughts on “Why masturbation is essential”
What product do you recommend for oral sex for female? Some times I lose my voice after oral sex, day or so.. Not all the time. Any ideas? Thanks